


Photograph

by Rroselavy



Category: Gravitation
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-11
Updated: 2010-06-11
Packaged: 2017-10-10 02:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/94004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rroselavy/pseuds/Rroselavy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was his talisman, his badge of honor protecting him from pain, but as he comes to the realization that Shindou Shuichi had broken through his last barricade and wormed his way into his heart, Yuki Eiri contemplates what it means to give up the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Photograph

The two faces stared out from the worn snapshot, and not for the first time, Yuki Eiri was amazed that he could detect no hint foreshadowing the tragedy that was to come from that union. For years he'd carried around the picture, carefully migrating it from one wallet to the next, and gazing at it whenever he felt threatened or unsure of himself. It served to remind him that at that moment in time, before he'd killed the other man in the photo, young Eiri had never been surer of himself, or happier.

It had been no great coincidence that Eiri had become a best-selling, award-winning romance author. The stories he wrote, epic paeans of longing, unrequited love and redemption, were ripped from his own buried desires, the script of his life. Well, up to the redemption part. At least, that is, until he'd met Shindou Shuichi, because despite Yuki's virulent desire to be a bad boy and heart-breaker, the teen had stood defiant and demanding, coaxing the author's errant heart into actually caring for the other.

He was fooling himself now, and as he looked down at the photograph again, he imagined that Kitizawa Yuki was laughing at him; he could hear the gentle voice admonishing his younger self.

'We can't help who we fall in love with.'

Except, Yuki knew now, Kitizawa had never loved him; he'd only been the first of a long line of sexual partners who'd sought to possess the beguiling, enigmatic blond.

Shuichi was different from all of them. What set him apart, besides his borderline obsession with all things Yuki, was that he didn't love Eiri because of who he was; he loved the author in spite of it. The fame, the notoriety, the cruelty and mood swings, none of that mattered to Shuichi, as long as the day ended with them curled against each other, limbs entwined as they drifted off to sleep.

Their verbal sparring and petty annoyances had become part of Yuki's routine-get up (can't you put your goddamn clothes in the hamper?), make breakfast (Cap'n Crunch does not constitute a 'balanced breakfast,' never mind the last thing you ~need~ is sugar), brush his teeth (dammit, can't you put the cap back on the toothpaste, ~ever~?), kiss Shuichi goodbye (yes, I promise I'll be here when you get back, I live here, remember?), and write for hours in silence until the door slammed open, harbingering the teen's return.

Simple domestic intimacies had never been important to Yuki, but now he found that he looked forward to the funereal silence of his apartment being shattered by the arrival of the living, breathing, emotional rollercoaster that was his lover. But today would be different. He glanced back down at the picture he cradled in his hand--his last secret. Today he would give the photo to Shuichi. He would tell Shuichi everything, lay bare his soul. He couldn't bring himself to say 'I love you,' in words, but Yuki hoped that Shuichi could read the subtext in the act.

In the end, Yuki realized that he didn't care what Shuichi decided to do with the picture, whether he chose to dispose of it, or not. It only mattered that Yuki had finally outlived the need to hold on to it.


End file.
